We all lose our tempers at one point or another... Its just a fact of life, but I think that it can always be avoided and I found these pointers below to help you avoid saying or doing something that you may never be able to take back...
Gain Perspective - Don't sweat the small stuff!! So what if your roommate likes the AC on - throw on a sweater... or who cares if your Boyfriend's way of organizing the toiletries is a little OCD. At least your roommate isn't a complete slob that doesn't flush the toilet and your boyfriend loves you and is faithful. When it is all said and done, think about the big picture... Is it worth raising a stink? Think about it... Imagine you take your roommate to task over something like air conditioning and the two of you get into a big bang out blow out fight and one of you moves out. (Trust me it happens) - Would it really be worth it?? I can see it now...
"Shannae - isn't that your old Roommate Jenny?"
"Yah, but I don't talk to that B!*@# - she used to blast the AC too much"
C'mon SON!! lol
Choose Your Battles - If you get as angry about menial tasks as you do about something serious - your friends, family or loved ones on the receiving end of the anger will stop taking you seriously. Plus, it will seem like you are always at odds and bad vibes will surround you and your relationships. That's a recipe for disaster. If something is really bothering you, approach the other person calmly, explain what's on your mind and what the two of you can do to solve the problem together.
Never Let Things Fester - While you should choose your battles wisely, you also should not let things that are bothering you build up inside. That can sometimes cause an explosion. To avoid this, share your thoughts – in the nicest way possible – at the moment they occur to you. It’s all in the presentation. Instead of saying, “I think you’re nuts and I refuse to do this,” you should say, “I find that this takes up too much time, and I prefer doing it differently.” The latter phrase allows you to express your opinion without judging the other person.
Put Yourself in the Other Person's Shoes - Consider your the other person's feelings when you’re disagreeing with him or her. Ask yourself why they might have taken this opposing position. You never know what it may be... maybe your roommate is adamant about sleeping with her light on because of something terrible that happened to her as a child. Or maybe she blasts the AC because she can't breath well with the heat.
Be Willing to Comprimise - Give a little. Take a little. Be fair. Make sure that you aren't always giving in to the others' wishes but make sure the reverse isn't always happening either. Resentment will build and that’s poison to a relationship. You both have to be flexible and willing to give in.
Cool Off - If you’re really angry, go for a walk or do something alone that will distract you. The last thing you want is to keep hashing things out with your and saying something you don’t mean in the heat of the moment. You can put off the argument until you are both calmer and able to speak rationally. Remember that arguments are a part of LIFE, and they don’t have to be the death of it. In fact, often fights – if done right – help you reach a deeper understanding and resolution on a particular issue. So, take a deep breath and relax.
I hope this helps ladies!
Shay
xo
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